So I sometimes wonder how can I love God and know that God loves me when I don't think I have a clue what it is to love another person. I don't really think that I have ever loved some one I am meaning truly love them. I care deeply for my friends and family I want only the best for them and if there is pain or suffering in there lives I would do anything in my power to take it way, but is that love? I have know Idea I want to love I long for nothing more than I long to be in love with some one and spend the rest of my life with them. It worries me that at the age of 23 I have no idea how to love or care about some one in that way and that I don't think that I ever had even an inkling of what it is to feel that way or even how to work at it. I really feel that hinders my ability to do ministry sometimes how can I love Oak Hills and the kids if I am not sure what it is to love, don't get me wrong I know that Christ died for me, and that because of this I get to go to heaven. I feel that this is the most important information to share with high school kids but I always feel that it is a logical decision that I have made because it just makes some much sense to me but not a very emotional decision of love. I hate that because I don't know much about love or how it feels that when my friends and family are going through things with people they love or loved that I can not help them or give them advice and trust me on this some of them have been really going through some stuff that I just can't help them with. I also feel that now that I have waited so long to get in the game of love that I am so far behind that I won't be able to catch up with the knowledge everyone else seems to have. I would like to apologies for the incoherent rant that you just read another thing that I struggle with is getting my thoughts out of my head and to sound good in words. I just can't do it.
This Blog will consist of the thoughts of a man who knows that he is Sinful and that the only thing that can fix him is Christ Jesus. You will see problems that I am truly dealing with in the present time and somethings from my past. There will not necessarily be answers or solutions to the problems will be solved. So join me as we look at the thoughts of a Sinful man!
2 comments:
By nature we are all very selfish. Love is when we go against this nature for reasons beyond our understanding.
I think you understand love. Love is not an emotion. Love is an action. People who are going through difficult times don't always need advice. Sometimes they just need people like yourself to be around to cheer them up.
In my experience, love is taking a painfully honest look at friends and oneself and then being willing to both talk about and hear out some truth without killing each other. Then finding a way to grow in areas where you are weak with people you trust.
you know how you always say that you would be in jail with you friends instead of bailing them out? Well that may seem like a funny example but I think this shows that you do love your friends and would do anything for them. Everybody responds differently to love and to God. Not everyone is going to have the same reaction or even feel the same thing regarding love.
Love is caring about somebody to the point that you would do anything for them. I think you have shown this quality, Mike.
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